Living the Dream

I had been dreamin' for years...

I mean,really! I fell madly in love with this short, irritable, gorgeous Scottish actor when I was not quite 14, and there I was, in my 50's, getting ready to attend a movie premiere he was slated to attend! I had been unbelieving when I heard it- a friend online casually mentioned a little Indie film festival in L.A. and a rumor that Mr. Mc Callum was supposed to be attending.

My long-suffering DH allowed as how he didn't mind the trip: we could visit some relatives of his in Los Alamitos, too, and they'd even watch the kids for the evening.
We dropped off the kids, drove into Hollywood, and joined the crowd milling in front of the theatre. I was clutching a much -loved copy of one of his records from the 60's ; the one with the poster of him inside. I had held onto it for 30+ years, and it was a little worn, but the photo on the front was still beautiful. I had a Sharpie clipped o on corner, In case I was lucky enough to get an autograph, I wanted to be ready.
There was a stir in the crowd as some limos drove up, but they were only Glenn Close and William Hurt. I was just moaning to DH that my sources in New York must have been misinformed when there was another stir.
Ellen had warned me that he moves fast, an he does! he was taking the steps two at a time and clearly meant business as he strode into the crowd. At his side was a lovely, tall lady in green, whom I took to be his co-star.
"M M Mr. MC Callum".I stammered,"May I have your autograph?"
"Ye ..ah" he replied doubtfully. I don't think he expected to be asked. His movie hadn't gotten much press and he may not know how extensive and watchful his fan-base is. I swear, if the man turns over in his sleep, someone knows and emails go out! I put my precious album into his outstretched hand and froze. My pen was gone! It must have been knocked off in the milling throng! I looked all around and could not see it, "I'm sorry-my pen..."
He made a tiny impatient noise,"tsk", and waved away the apology. Then, he looked at his companion."Do you have a pen?" He looked at a man he knew - "Do you?" I stood rooted. He was actually working the crowd, asking among his entire entourage for a pen so he wouldn't have to disappoint me! Lemme tell you, there is a reason that he has fans of 40+ years' vintage!
At length.a pen appeared,and he began to sign. The pen stuck and dragged on the album and finally would not write. He made the little 'tsk' again and I tried to pull the album back. He held on. He had started to sign and by God. he would do it! I quickly realized tat I was not getting my treasure back until it was signed to his satisfaction, and rather than engage in an undignified struggle I was sure to lose, I stopped tugging on the album. He 'tsk' ed a third time. "I'll sign it," he said, but, you have to turn it over. This paper is just notorious."
Numbly , I let him turn it over. One of his friends looked over my shoulder at the picture on the front. "You don't look like that any more."
Mr. McCallum ignored me as I tried to protest that he hadn't changed. He had, of course, but still he is so gorgeous it ought to be illegal, and those eyes, the color of new denim can still pin me flat as a bug on a blotter!
As he was signing, he kept frowning, and looking at me. I didn't know why, and was really scared that I had pissed him off by losing my pen and all. He released the album at last and cut through my murmured thanks . "I haven't seen you in a very long time", he said.
I was struck mute. He had never seen me before- how could I answer? I couldn't tell him he was wrong! Desperately praying that he liked whoever he thought I was, I summoned my best smile. "Why, no, you haven't", I said, and slipped back into the crowd,clutching my album tightly. Safely hidden in the mob, I trembled, and the tears came.
A young woman I had been talking to earlier looked at me curiously. "Wow, It really means a lot to you, Is he a musician or something?"
"Sort of". I said "a long time ago."
The movie wasn't anything to write home about, but I was so buzzed from meeting him that it could have been about anything. When it was over , I sought him out like a polite child paying respects after a party, and said something stupid like "It was a beautiful film." He snorted a little, but shook my hand politely. I swear my skin remembers his grip! It was careful, gentle- nothing to prove. I noticed then the only sign of our advancing age. The skin of his palm was a little papery and dry, but his handshake was warm, frank, and strong.
If dreams are going to come true, this is how to do it. It was a moment of magic with just enough mystery. It confirmed what everyone has been telling me- Mr. Mc Callum is a real gent, and concerned about his fans. And, I have a memory that will last the rest of my life. Now, if I only knew who he thought I was!