Happy Holidays!

33 years!! Goddess! I am 33 years an Initiated Witch this morning! I remember it as if I had just out out the candles. I smell the incense & taste the wine. I brought some awful Polish mead to the ritual and had to drink a whole chalice full! Ergh!
I learned my lesson though, and have passed it on to Dedicants ever since- bring a wine you know and like VERY much or one you don't care if you will never want to drink again! The herbs in the potion quite spoiled the taste and the texture was cloying. I don't know if that was the fault of the herbs my Teacher added or not , but I still don't have the moxie to try it again!
My Vigil was the longest night of my life so far. And ,even now, it is only (barely) eclipsed by the night before my wedding, I spent that lying beside my soon-to-be husband, the Coven Sword between us, praying desperately that we were going to beat the odds and make our very much mixed marriage a success. I knew then I NEVER wanted to suffer through another night like that! I think if more couples spent the eve of their wedding with the sword between them, we would have a MUCH lower divorce rate!
When the Vigil was ended about half an hour before dawn, Yule, 1975, I was told to wait in another room while the Circle was cast. The bell would ring, and I would have to go into the other room. My robe had a big hood that fell long past my eyes, and when it was up, my vision was poor. I stood there shivering, waiting for the bell to ring, trying to remember the words I had been told to say...
Suddenly, I became aware that someone, also in ritual robes, was standing at the door. I could not see it clearly through the hood of my robe, but it looked vaguely like my Teacher in height and weight. It did not speak to me, but made an unmistakable 'Come on' gesture and stood waiting for me.
Now, I knew that I had been told to wait for the bell. I also knew that tests were everywhere and often came when least expected. Was this a test? I didn't know. I did know that a lot depended on my response.
Thankfully, I had to lift my hood to be able to obey, and that bought me a little time. I fumbled, begging pardon, and lifted the hood, ready to go, bell or not, opting for obedience and praying that was the virtue being tested and not compliance with the Ritual...
There was no one there.
A few seconds later the bell rang and I stumbled down the hall to the room where the Circle awaited me, praying now that it was compliance with the Ritual that had been tested, and that by fumbling I had lucked into passing.
My Teacher gave me no indication, aye,or no..
I went through the Rite in a sort of golden fog. Pieces of it come back to me as I write. A soft glow of candlelight around my Teacher;s bent head, the sharp prick of the sword against my breast; a shock even though I knew it was coming, all went past me as if I dreamed awake. I made my vows and was accepted.
After the Ritual, I said to my teacher,"I was really confused when you came to get me before the bell rang." My Teacher looked at me. "I didn't come for you."my Teacher said. To this day, I wonder who or what came to my door that morning, and to what Initiation I might have gone had I just followed without fumbling with my hood. Whether I passed that test or failed it, I am here, and received the Initiation I had prepared for. I pray now that it was the right decision !
A last story on myself before I close this post. After the Feast was done, and all the candles out that frosty Chicago morning, I said to my Teacher, So when do I start feeling normal again?" My Teacher snorted. "Baby -cakes,this is now normal." After 33 years, my Teacher was right.

What (Real ) Witches do on Halloween

To forestall any argument or bad feelings and bruised toes, let me start out by saying that if one walked into a room with ten Witches in it, one would find at least 23 different and often mutually exclusive opinions and 5 or six newsletters. It is not my intention to represent myself as any sort of expert of Traditions not my own.


A tradition, for the uninitiated, is like a denomination of Christianity. I am not even claiming to be an expert on Wicca. I am claiming to be an intelligent human with opinions, beliefs and experience to share.





That said, I will talk about what my Coven called Pleiades of the Tradition/Temple Caer Sidi did this Samhain - the Celtic name for the festival celebrated at the end of October.





Dates are slippery things. as every parent knows. And, kids operate on a different calendar than grown-ups. We have Mabon,Yule, and Samhain. They have Turkey Day, Present Day, and Candy Night, Once my children were mobile. I realized that, to preserve the fragile peace in my home, I had better not mess with Candy Night. Besides that, our Tradition uses a Lunar Calendar, and days run from sunset to sunset , Samhain would be over before the candles were lit.


Yule was not a problem-no kid in his/her eight mind is gonna complain about getting his/her presents four days SOONER than their Classmates! Consequently I proposed to the Coven that until our children were old enough to forgo the usual Halloween shenanigans, we would celebrate our religious holiday within a three day window of opportunity. The parents saw the wisdom of my suggestion, and no one else really had a reason why not, so my idea was adopted unanimously.





Tonight, I will watch scary movies on TV. My son will go out masquerading as a High School student (he's 16). My daughter will probably be a vampire.





This explains, I hope, why we did the Ritual of Samhain Thuersday night instead of tonight. My students are far flung nowadays, and have busy lives of their own. My husband of 28 years and the Elder of the Coven made use of my little 8' by 10' cubicle - pulling the curtains around us closed, and breathing a silent prayer that neither of my room-mates would take it into her head to need/want a nurse while we worked.

We started by casting a virtual Circle. Hospital rules and City Fire ordinances preclude the use of our usual candles and incense. We joined hands and pulled in energy, constructing a Circle in my tiny space. I read the second half of the Myth of the Goddess - a prose poem that describes a version of the Persephone Myth. The first half is read at Mabon, ending with the Priestess asking the God of the Underworld why He is the enemy of Life. In the second half, she receives teaching about why the seasons change, and why Witches do not believe there was ever war in Heaven. I looked over at our Elder, and saw him surreptitiously wipe a tear away. He has heard this story every year for nearly 30 years, and he gets misty every time. If he is reading this- That is one of the reasons I love you, Anarion.

We could not use candles or inscense, and I had to have electric light to read, and we did not waer robes, but Anarion did smuggle in a tablespoon or towo of a decent red wine, and i had saved some crackers from dinner. for Cakes and Wine, It is true that things in Circle happen in a place that is not a place in a time that is not a time. As we cast our tiny, claustrophobia-inducing Circle, the realities of my situation mlelted away. I stood in the Circle with my Brothers and invoked the Ancient Ones as if I stood in the grandest Temple on Earth. We reverently shared the cup and the bread, remebered our Brothers and Sisters who had passed on, prayed that we would always remember the Burning Times and never become oppressors in our turn.

The settings were spartan and the attendance meager, but those things didn't matter as we prayed, shared, and dreamed about the coming season of Winter.


When the simple rite of remeberance was over, we released the energies we had summoned for the Circle, and settled down to the feast - Anarion had brought fruit, bread and cheese, and Seqouia had provided more cheese and garlic nan, an Indian bread he knows I love.

We talked and laughed and enjoyed each other's company. It wa s a weird and in some ways impoverished Samhain. I can no longer dance, we had no privacy for a Great Rite, and I did not have the necessaries for the scrying I usally do at Samhain. But, when it was all done, and we were ready to part, I asked the ritual question of our Elder-"Is your soul satisfied?" And, I believed him when he said it was.
I know running a Coven is like herding cats under the rosiest conditions, and these ain't them, but this Samhain was what a Wiccan Rite should be- warm, loving, balancing mirth and reverence. I think our depaerted Brothers and Sisters must have gone home smiling. I know we did.